EGO: The Silent Killer Of Any Relationship And How To Overcome It

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• Nov 26, 2024 | Kabita Pathak

Ego, if left unchecked, it can sabotage even the strongest bonds…

Digital Desk: Ego always creeps into relationships, causing divisions between us and the people we love. Although it is not pathologic in itself—it is even a form of self-preservation—when an ego takes over, it becomes toxic. When it does, all of a sudden we fall back onto childhood mechanisms that are not quite efficient nowadays. According to psychologist Nicole LePera, ‘The ego seems to take over when we’re not present; that’s when most of us go into our childhood survival strategies’. We also have to be able to avoid having feelings that make us on the defensive or aggressive in our actions.

 The ego is about individual self-esteem; however, when not well managed, it can ruin even healthy relationships. Here's how ego manifests in relationships and how it can harm them:

 How ego erodes relationships:-
 The third domain is the difficulty in accepting criticisms in which the client shows mild symptoms. Self-ego makes a person have tough skin, so when they are corrected, they sharply turn against the person criticizing them unnecessarily.

 Refusal to Apologize- Taking responsibility provokes a feeling of surrender to the ego, which is why it’s hard to say sorry even when one is at fault.

 Resistance to Compromise -The role of ego is that it makes us selfish and self-centered; we do not budge an inch to consider the other party.

 Lack of empathy- When the self-centered orientation is in force, the people focus on themselves, even if they don’t take into consideration the feelings or opinions of their counterparts.

 Control Issues -The lack of control leads to the desire to control as many aspects of life as is possible while gradually strangling the interactions.

We see that there are cases of misunderstanding and wrong communication in relationships.

Ego undermines the entirety of communication by magnifying small disagreements into significant issues in relationships.

 Ways to Tame Ego in a Relationship:-

 Cultivate Self-Awareness- Learn to look out for the signs where ego comes into play and which makes you ask yourself why I am allowing ego to dictate my actions.

 Embrace Criticism -Stop looking at feedback as some sort of threat to who you are as an author or as a learner.

 Apologize with Grace- A careful, sincere apology makes you look stronger and more humble and once again proves you value the relationship.

 Practice Empathy- Move your attention to listen not only to what people have to say but how they feel and think.

 Prioritize the relationship -Do not make an effort to defend your ego, but strive to build trust, love, and cooperation from others.

 Conclusion-
It doesn’t mean that ego should lead to the destruction of your relationships. If you do, by being selfish and arrogant or simply inconsiderate, you put paid to those bonds that define most human interactions. Love triumphs when one overlooks his/her pride rather than looking for a fight.