Staving off Depression with Connection

• Image Credit: Google

• Feb 16, 2025 | Atifa Deshamukhya

What ‘feeling sad’ meant in old days, signifies much more concerning issues in the present times.

Digital Desk: Depression is taking on epic proportions in the present day.

From school children coerced by unthinking guardians towards unachievable goals, to young hearts facing upheavals in love life, to frustrated job-seekers and those trapped in government red tape or corporate slavery, right up to over-worked parents, empty nesters and people struggling with poverty, illness etc., the drivers for depression are humungous, to say the least.

What ‘feeling sad’ meant in old days, signifies much more concerning issues in the present times.

Today, I feel alarmed if someone I know is ‘feeling sad’ because consumerism seems to have caught up with idea, too. A big hullabaloo is made out of it, rather than people trying to sail through the stormy sea of emotion with all the resources they can muster. Its almost become fashionable to say, ‘I’m depressed’, and call attention to yourself.

Today, people don’t task themselves with doing all they can to pull themselves out of ‘sadness’.

Rather they sort of languish in it, as if extracting some sort of sadistic pleasure.

But we onlookers, especially the empaths among us, become alarmed.

What if Mr./Ms. Sad finally decides that life is not worth living and takes a leap of (un)faith?  Or use the useful fan in the room for some unholy agenda, or self-harm in any odd way that they feel is ok?

So, we try to make them talk. Unburden the weight on their hearts.

Many a time, they will shut themselves off from all other people, unwilling to talk, or even to bear anyone’s company.

In such a case, just being present with the afflicted person may help, conveying, silently as it were,-’I’m there with you’; ‘Whatever it is that you are going through, know that you are not alone’.

With a little leeway gained over time, the next step may be to offer the physical comfort of touch.

A touch on the hand, or on the back, a running of fingers through their hair (depending on the level of intimacy) can then be the strong non-verbal communication of solidarity, understanding, support.

And finally, as they feel safe to vent, we ought to listen. Be patient and listen. Not to interrupt, or pontificate. Just listen. 

And then to look for the cue to offer suggestions about the situation. Slight nudges towards a different perspective to view their situation. Showing them baby steps to come out of the state of sadness.

And thus, connection can work its magic.

Achieving connection with others is the most heartening feeling. It is the best antidote to depression.

(The writer is a Life Coach and Senior Soft Skills trainer; and can be reached at atifa@comeaspire.net)

-Atifa Deshamukhya