Few things to let go of to stop people-pleasing; therapist shares tips

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• May 15, 2024 | Pinaki Goswami

Breaking free from the people-pleasing cycle requires a concerted effort to initiate changes in our mindset and behavior...

Digital Desk: In the quest for acceptance and validation, many of us find ourselves trapped in the cycle of people-pleasing. We bend over backward, sacrificing our own needs and desires to ensure the happiness of others. However, the therapist highlights the importance of breaking free from this pattern by initiating changes in our behavioral patterns, thought processes, and habits.

First and foremost is to relinquish the need to be understood by everyone. Understanding ourselves and prioritizing our well-being should take precedence over seeking validation from others. It's essential to recognize that not everyone will comprehend us, and that's okay. Instead of fixating on universal understanding, we should focus on what is healthy and beneficial for our growth and fulfillment.

Furthermore, the therapist urges us to release the urge to fix others' moods. We are not responsible for the happiness of everyone around us. Learning to be comfortable in our discomfort and setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining our emotional well-being. Prioritizing our own needs and self-care is not selfish; it's a fundamental aspect of leading a fulfilling life.

Another aspect we need to let go of is the tendency to compromise our authenticity in a bid to be liked by others. Embracing our true selves and finding a supportive community that accepts us for who we are is far more valuable than contorting ourselves to fit societal expectations. Authenticity breeds genuine connections and fosters a sense of belonging that cannot be achieved through pretense.

Moreover, rushing to provide immediate answers to please others is a habit we must break. Taking the time to consider our responses thoughtfully allows us to express ourselves more genuinely and assertively. It's important to prioritize clarity and honesty over the fleeting satisfaction of appeasing others.

Lastly, we need to confront the fear of conflict and uncomfortable conversations. Avoiding difficult situations only perpetuates the cycle of people-pleasing and undermines our self-esteem. Instead, we should muster the courage to remove ourselves from toxic environments and relationships that compromise our well-being.

Breaking free from the people-pleasing cycle requires a concerted effort to initiate changes in our mindset and behavior. By letting go of the need for universal understanding, releasing the urge to fix others' moods, embracing our authenticity, taking time to respond thoughtfully, and confronting uncomfortable situations, we can embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. It's time to prioritize our well-being and develop genuine connections that enrich our lives.