Just accept the imperfections in self and others...
Digital Desk: As humans we are all imperfect.
Why we?...
Even all entities are imperfect.
Nothing can be explained away in cut and dried rules.
Forget others, even the rules of grammar are imperfect.
And about this general condition, it has been said that “exceptions prove the rule” or, “ there are exceptions to every rule.”
Let this sink in. Let this be the perspective with which we view other fellow human beings.
For, the close net of human beings around us is meant to provide the ground for engaging in relationships. And studies have proved that good relationships are the most important marker of a happy life.
So, how to have great relationships?
Just accept the imperfections in self and others.
It is good to be continually on a journey of self-growth, but that should be fuelled by an acceptance of our present state, an understanding of our weaknesses and a loving approach to guide the self to be better than before, each day, every day. Self-loathing has created the worst personalities, who have nothing positive to offer to others, and who drive others away.
So, we have to begin by accepting ourselves, faults, failings, merits et al.
This stance makes it easier for us to be patient with the foibles of others. We look for windows of openness when they are open to receive our inputs, and gently provide cues for them to pick up on their improvement journey.
At all costs, we avoid feeling superior to others, or even inferior to others.
We accept human beings as different flowers in a garden, each with his/ her own fragrance, colour, utility, as it were. Some like wildflowers, bloom for the sake of blooming, while others need careful care and cultivation and become the cynosure of all eyes.
So, tying back to the famous book by Thomas Anthony Harris, ‘I’m OK-You’re Ok’, let us adopt the greatest mantra for happy relationships- Acceptance.
Once we accept the reality with grace, improving upon the conditions steadily and gently, comes naturally.
So, accept who you are, and how others are, as the first and most important step to great relationships.
(The writer is a Senior Soft Skills trainer and can be reached at atifa@comeaspire.net)
-Atifa Deshamukhya
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